I realize that these posts are far too infrequent. I have also realized that any time God has a good thing going, the pesky ole' devil will do anything he can to stop it … ehem, make life so hectic that the last thing on my list is updating this thing. Well the posts may be too far between but I will finish telling my story no matter how long it takes me.
I ended the last post with a little cliffhanger. Mostly because I could type all day and still never tell you all of the glorious things that God has done, and I had to stop somewhere! But like I said, I will keep at it until I've done my absolute best.
So I got the second interview. That e-mail pretty much stopped me dead in my tracks. I literally sat there and said "Holy crap. It worked." It was in that moment that I realized that God listens. He listens when I talk to him. And not because I deserve it, but simply because he loves me that much! (And, you too, by the way!). When I sat down with my husband and recounted all of the totally improbable things that had to occur in order for me to be at this point in my life, it became abundantly clear that, for whatever reason, he made it happen. And I literally mean that he had his hand in the situation all along because I know that nothing I could have done on my own would be good enough to make me a candidate for THE perfect job! Since he was willing to give me that chance, I knew it was time to dive in head first and blindfolded and have faith that he would keep me afloat. And that, my friends, is the second part in the whole "ask and you will receive" thing. You must not only ask, but also know that he will answer. This was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. The one struggle that I continually had was trying to figure out why. The past three years I have been trained to always ask why, and my human brain could just not put that question to rest, nor could it completely surrender until I found the answer. The answer is something that I heard all the time, every Sunday, and for years I heard it every day. Finally, finally it clicked for me when I came across Matthew 7:9-10:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
The reason why: because I am his child. I don't have to be worthy or deserving. My request doesn't even have to be something all holy and noble. Why does he want to bless me with this opportunity? Because I want it! Bam. Coming to that kind of knowledge not only in your heart but also in your mind will change your life. The God who created the entire universe considers me his child and will give me things for which I ask simply because I want them.
I need to make a brief disclaimer here. Clearly, God is not like a genie in a bottle who is at our service whenever we give the bottle rub. His job is not to give us new cars or money or fulfill our every selfish desire. I came to him with a humble heart that was totally open and surrendered to him. And that's what made the difference.
Once I came across that passage in Matthew, I wrote it down on a piece of paper, along with my request (which had now moved on from a second interview to a job offer) and several other verses, many of which I had put here in this blog. I kept it on my desk, read it frequently, and prayed every time I saw it. The whole having faith thing came into play when I cancelled other job interviews that I had. Huge risk – especially in this economy, especially for a law student that was 3 weeks out from graduation. But when I dove in head first and blind folded, I depended solely on him to keep me afloat. And he did. And I got the job.
Coming up: I'm going to make a timeline, primarily to memorialize for myself, but also so that anyone who reads this can see the amazing chain of events that occurred to bring me to this place – proof that God was ordering my steps long before I ever asked him to!
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